These are the BEST Chocolate Breakfast Rolls EVER! Super fluffy and a treat to bite into, filled with a sweet chocolate filling, and liberally drizzled with a cocoa glaze! Perfect for an indulgent breakfast!
You’ve been visiting this space a while, right? Like, you already know how much I hate exercise. Exercise is like a minion who happily serves a demon, who serves the devil. I hate it. Every single time I wake up I feel like I should walk around sprinkling holy water just exorcising exercise. It’s just not natural to torture a body like this. It’s not! Exercise should never go beyond standing from a seated position.
Yet here I am. Repping to lose fat, like a superhero fighting off diabetes and Tempurpedic pillow thighs.
But I HATE IT. HATE IT! And because I eat so many cookies in between bites of broccoli, quinoa, and yucky kale – I must crunch and lift, and crunch and lift.
I go through fits of exercise. I’m all motivated for a month or so. I see my traces of my collarbone and a hint of a former six-pack. Then I ruin it by binge-eating chocolate and cake for three weeks straight. Which makes me feel guilty. Which makes me stop exercising. Which leads me to eat more chocolate and cake. And then I’m right back where I started.
Emotion plays into this a lot. I may have a case of resting bitch face, but I am such an emotional creature and I cry a lot. It’s pathetic.
If you say something mean to me, or if you’re being petty and passive aggressive – I can feel that. And it affects me. And the next day I’m hitting that chocolate and my Wonka candy stash.
I haven’t quite learned to deal with my feelings in a way that’s not damaging to my body. I’m like, fuck this shit. I need to add yoga and meditation to my exercise regimen.
So, yeah. I’ve been exercising again. Slowly. Not every day. Hell no – Not every day. Hating the asshole on screen who tells me ‘one more rep!’ and ‘you can do it!’ and ‘you have no excuse!’ ‘AND streeeeeeetch!!!’ – Like my body bends that way. And there is ALWAYS a minion lunging next to her with the body-builder legs, fit and shit after popping quintuplets. I hate that bitch more than anything. She makes me feel insecure for following the modified version chick.
They say you reach a certain point where you become addicted to exercise. I’m not there yet. I’ve never been there. Because, well… Because chocolate and sugar are always waiting in the periphery. Just walking along in the sidelines waiting… Just waiting to take me back with open arms. And let’s be real. I am their bitch. We’re in a happily satisfying three-way and I… Well, I can’t just give it up.
So I’m trying to live between these worlds. The world of sweet potato and chickpeas – And the world where chocolate drips like a wet dream.
Now flow with me, let’s talk about these Chocolate Breakfast Rolls.
No, this is not a happy medium. There is no chickpea flour in place of good ol’ fashioned all-purpose. This is a super indulgent roll. It’s the roll you lunge 6,528 times for while holding 12lb weights.
I found cinnamon rolls on Epicurious by way of America’s Test Kitchen – A kitchen I trust my life with.
I made very little changes to the dough. I did, however, add a bit more sugar for a sweeter roll. I swapped out the cinnamon with cocoa powder and glazed them with even more chocolate. Because like I said, I’m chocolate and sugar’s bitch.
The original recipe mixes the dough by machine. I’m old school. I mix and knead by hand. You can go ahead and click on the link above for machine instructions. I don’t judge.
This dough is allowed to rise for over two hours, then it’s pressed into a rectangle. Butter is melted and mixed with sugar and cocoa powder. This mixture is spread over the dough rectangle and then you roll that sucka’ into a cylinder. The dough is cut and allowed to rise over a buttered dish sprinkled with sugar.
The buns are baked until golden. Oh, so golden.
When they cool a bit they’re glazed with a mixture of cocoa powder, confectioners’ sugar, and milk. I went light with the glaze for the photos. I didn’t go light with the glaze in real life.
These Chocolate Breakfast Rolls are indeed amazing.
So, so fluffy.
Chocolate Breakfast Rolls
For the dough
- ¾ cup Buttermilk warm (110 degrees)
- 6 tablespoons ¾ stick Unsalted butter, melted and cooled
- 3 large Eggs
- 4¼ cups spooned and leveled All-purpose flour
- 1/3 cup Granulated sugar
- 1 envelope 2¼ teaspoons Instant or rapid-rise yeast
- 1¼ teaspoons Salt
- ¾ cup Granulated sugar
- 1/4 cup Dutch processed cocoa powder
- 1/8 teaspoon Kosher salt
- 4 tablespoons 1/2 stick Unsalted butter, melted and cooled
- 1 cup Confectioners’ sugar
- 3 tablespoons Dutch processed cocoa powder
- 1-2 tablespoons Whole milk
- 2 teaspoons Vanilla extract
- Make the Dough: In a large measuring cup, whisk the buttermilk, melted butter, and eggs together until combined. In a large bowl, whisk 4 cups all-purpose flour, sugar, yeast, and salt together. Make a well in the center of the bowl and pour the buttermilk mixture in the center. Spoon the flour with a wooden spoon into the center until the flour is moistened and has a shaggy look to it. Turn the dough onto a lightly floured surface. Pour the remaining 1/4 cup of flour next to the ball of shaggy dough. Knead the dough, dusting your hands periodically with the flour until the dough is smooth and elastic, about 10-12 minutes. The dough should be tacky to the touch, but not sticky. Place the dough in lightly buttered bowl and wrap the bowl tightly with plastic wrap. Let the dough rise in a warm, draft-free place until the dough doubles in size, about 2 to 2 1/2 hours. Fill the rolls: Liberally grease a 9x13 inch baking pan or Pyrex dish. Sprinkle the pan lightly with granulated sugar and set aside. In a small bowl, mix the granulated sugar, cocoa powder, salt, and melted butter until a paste forms. Turn the dough onto a lightly floured surface and press or roll the dough to a 12x16 inch rectangle. With a small offset spatula spread the cocoa mixture, leaving a small 3/4 inch border along the perimeter of the dough. Press on the filling to help it adhere to the dough. Loosen the dough from the counter using a bench scraper (or metal spatula), and from the long end, roll the dough very tightly into a long cylinder. Pinch the seam closed and roll the log seam side down. Slice the cylinder into 12 evenly sized rolls (about 1½ inches wide) using a serrated knife. Arrange the rolls cut side down in the prepared baking pan and wrap with plastic wrap. Let rolls rise in a warm place until the rolls have doubled in size, about 1 to 1½ hours. The rolls will press into one another. While the rolls rise, preheat the oven to 350° Fahrenheit. Adjust the oven rack to the middle position. When rolls have risen sufficiently, remove plastic wrap and place in the oven. Bake the rolls until golden, about 25 to 30 minutes. Remove rolls from the oven and allow to cool slightly before glazing. Make the glaze: Whisk the confectioners’ sugar, cocoa powder, milk, and vanilla extract in a small bowl until smooth. Remove rolls from pan and place them in a wire rack that sits over a parchment lined cookie sheet. Glaze rolls and serve.