Chocolate sandwich cookie bottom and a creamy vanilla bean cheesecake folded with crushed cookie crumbs. No bake AND mini, these Cookies -N- Cream Cheesecakes are impossible to put down!!!
I’m telling you guys right now – If you’re still in that “trying to live a healthier life” phase, this post is not for you. I have to respectfully ask you move along, come back when I’ve posted a salad or something equally healthy.
That day is NOT today.
Today is your cheat day.
Commitment is not your thing.
You gave up the healthy shit on day 5.
Decided to be fat one more year – Cause who cares, right?
Not into the whole resolution thing.
Your New Year’s resolution is geared towards getting your finances in order and not the size of your expanding waistline.
Or, if like me
Your goals are more aligned with excess and debauchery…
This post is for you, homeslice.
Last week I was focused, man. I fully intended on walking into Family Dollar, picking up a bottle of Gain and Snuggle Fabric softener and walking my ass home and straight to my laundry room where a nice mountain sized pile of laundry was waiting for me. The goal was to reduce the size of said mountain into something roughly the size of a mole hill.
Then I made a detour. I needed maraschino cherries for a whole ‘nother post and once you walk into an aisle full of cookies, potato chips, and candy – Your morals are compromised.
And I’m weak, people.
So my shopping bags were a bit heavier that day. Yes, I purchased my laundry detergent and fabric softener, but not before walking out with 5 packages of chocolate sandwich cookies, 4 packages of lemon iced cookies, and an industrial sized bag of potato chips; a bag which arrived considerably lighter because underpaid cashiers are in NO RUSH to ring your ass up. Yah, I’m the chick who munches on a checkout line. Don’t judge me. You don’t know my life!
Now I’m home and herein lies my dilemma: Do I spend my day in that dungeon we call a basement and fold load after load of laundry with nothing but the whirring sounds of a washer/dryer?
No, f*** that.
We eat a sleeve of cookies and with the rest we make Cookies –N– Cream No Bake Cheesecakes. You crush some chocolate sandwich cookies and pour melted butter over it. You make a crust. Line some dessert glasses with it. Whip a vanilla bean paste-laden cream cheese filling and fluff that situation up with heavy cream. Then fold some crushed sandwich cookies into that cream cheese. It’s only right.
And you know what? That is EXACTLY how the shit went down.
Laundry, waistline, and living right be dammed one more year.
No Bake Cookies -N- Cream Cheesecakes
For the cookie crust
- 15 Chocolate sandwich cookies
- 2 tablespoons Melted butter
For the cookies -n- cream cheesecake filling
- 8-9 Chocolate sandwich cookies
- 8 ounce 1 package Cream Cheese, cold
- 1 heaping cup Confectioners' sugar
- 1 tablespoon Vanilla bean paste
- 1 cup Heavy cream cold
- Sandwich cookies crushed or whole for garnish (optional)
- Make the crust:
- Add the sandwich cookies to a food processor and pulse until the cookies form fine crumbs. Alternatively, cookies can be added to a Ziploc bag with a seal and crushed using a meat tenderizer or your hands.
- Place the crushed cookie crumbs in a small bowl and pour melted butter over them. Mix with a fork to combine until the mixture is sufficiently moistened and has a wet sandy texture to it.
- Divide the mixture evenly amongst five 4oz dessert glasses, pressing down on the mixture to flatten as best you can. Set aside while you make the cookies and cream cheesecakes.
- Cookies -n- Cream Cheesecake filling:
- Add the sandwich cookies to a food processor and pulse until the cookies form fine crumbs. Set aside.
- To a bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a whisk attachment, add the cream cheese. Whip over medium speed for about 20 seconds. Stop the mixer and add the confectioners' sugar.
- Turn the mixer back on and over low speed, whip the cream cheese and confectioners' sugar until combined. Increase the speed to medium/high and whip until the mixture is combined and fluffy. Add the vanilla bean paste. Add the heavy cream in three parts, waiting for the mixture to thicken slightly before adding in more heavy cream. Whip until fluffy and combined. Turn off the mixer and fold in the crushed cookie crumbs.
- Transfer the filling to a piping bag fitted with a star or round tip. Alternatively, you can transfer the mixture to a Ziploc bag and snip off a corner with scissors.
- Pipe Cookies -n- Cream filling into each dessert glass and top with either a whole sandwich cookie or crushed sandwich cookies. I can't tell you how to live your life.
- Place in the refrigerator until ready to eat.
- Make 5