Summer isn’t over!!! Peep it: Chopped Oreos are folded into a creamy custard-based chocolate ice cream. If you’re a chocolate lover – This one’s for you!
I’m giving side-eye to a husband who insists I exercise.
Where the hell did that come from?
Pero like, I was just starting to embrace this size 14. I’m already comfortably out of breath when I walk briskly and talk at the same time. I snore super loud now; loud enough to wake myself up. I climbed 8 miles in the rainforest with this fat ass and these huge D-sized boobs and I made it.
Barely. But I made it.
I didn’t die.
A jaguar didn’t chase and drag me to its lair. Where do jaguars live again? Doesn’t matter. I wasn’t dragged there.
And that fly who incessantly buzzed in my ear and tried to throw me off the edge…? That bitch failed. Four times!
So did the bird that flew STRAIGHT over my head.
I felt super weighed down and connected to the gorund and shit. My size 14 ass, my muddy Chuck Tailors, and my walking stick.
I’m out here feeling like the real MVP.
It’s just me and my cellulite, looking like a stuffed chorizo. We out here living life.
This is me now when my husband is like, ‘You need to exercise blah… blah… Blah…Let’s go bike riding…Blah… Blah… Blah… You need to wake up at 4AM and work out.’
He’s cray. It’s better here, spooning ice cream in my mouth.
Now flow with me, let’s talk about this situation.
I’ve been slacking on my recipe testing and this blog. I’m not here to apologize. Ask my husband. I don’t apologize well. I apologized to my son earlier and it still sounded like I was blaming him for some shit I did.
I’m not apologizing with words. I’m apologizing by way of ice cream.
I finally cracked the homemade smooth-as-fuck ice cream code.
Nah, that’s too close. Back up.
It’s milk powder.
Replacing some of your liquid with milk powder will yield a batch of ice cream with a smooth, dope ass mouth feel. Close your eyes. Imagine the smoothest ice cream you’ve ever tasted. Do you remember it? The feeling? Hold onto it. Now open your eyes. You can make an ice cream just as smooth and creamy. I got you, boo.
I planned a basic cookies –n– cream deal, then decided against it. I added chocolate because a chick craves chocolate right now and forever. I also crushed around 15 Oreo cookies in this sum-bitch because… Well… You know… We’re all living in 2017-adjusted terms.
This year is weird.
Chocolate ice cream.
As many as you can fit into a batch.
Give ‘em some side eye if they ask you to exercise or eat healthy.
Now is not the time.
Chocolate Oreo Ice Cream
- 2 cups Whole milk
- 1 cup Heavy cream
- ½ cup Powdered milk
- ¾ cup Granulated sugar
- 5 Egg yolks
- 8 ounces Semi-sweet chocolate
- 1 tablespoon Cocoa powder
- 2 tablespoons Vanilla extract
- 10-15 Oreo cookies roughly chopped
Prepare the ice cream base:
- Place the egg yolks in a medium bowl and set aside.
- In a medium steel bottomed pot, add the whole milk, heavy cream, powdered milk, and granulated. Whisk the mixture vigorously until the milk powder is fully incorporated into milk and heavy cream. Turn the heat to medium/low and bring the mixture to a full simmer.
- Remove from heat, whisking the entire time pour some of the milk mixture into the bowl with the egg yolks to temper. Continue to pour the milk mixture and whisk until the egg yolks are combined. Pour the entire mixture back into the pot, along the melted chocolate, cocoa powder, and vanilla extract. Cook over low heat, whisking the entire time until the chocolate melts, and the mixture is thick enough to coat the back of a wooden spoon thickly. This can take anywhere from 2-6 minutes. Be sure not to let it scorch.
- Strain the mixture into a Ziploc bag. Seal the Ziploc bag, immerse it in the ice bath and leave until completely cool.
- At this point you can either churn in the ice cream maker according to manufacturer’s instructions, or place in the refrigerator overnight to steep, then churn. Fold in the crushed Oreo cookies once the ice cream is frozen.
- Transfer the mixture to a container with a tight-fitting lid and place in your freezer.
- Makes a little over a quart of ice cream.