Kale Chips

 

 

 

 

 

By definition: The process, real or perceived, of removing toxins from the body.

Or…

By definition: An upcoming album, by the hip hop artist Dr. Dre.

Clearly I’m highly anticipating the latter.

The former…? Yea, not so much… Nice dental work, Dr. Dre….

You see this word?

It scares me to my very core. When I think detox I picture no food or sweets of any kind for days. Complete deprivation of the very things that make my life worth living. I’m left to ingest vast quantities of greenish, bluish liquid in an attempt to remove toxins from my body – For days! I’ll be so hungry! Deprive a sista’ of food, and there’s no telling what I’ll do. I can hallucinate and wars could get started. Real wars – Post apocalyptic Mad Max aftermath type deals where cash is no longer king, Wall Street no longer calls the shots and we’d have to barter to have our steel toed boots cobbled.

No thank you… We don’t want that.

That scares me – I haven’t acquired enough skills to be bartered for by warriors.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for juicing; what I’m not for is juicing for like 7 days straight with no solids. I needs me some solids… A cookie… A protein… Something…

I want to detoxify my bod + be able to eat this:

And some of these:

I don’t just want to do this:

No way, Jose…

Enter: Kale Chips

Kale is the new food that’s raging the nation… It’s green… AND it’s got loads of good stuff.

Kale is very high in beta carotene, vitamin K, vitamin C, calcium; all vitamins essential for life. Kale has a chemical with potent anti-cancer properties. Kale is also a source of indole-3-carbinol, a chemical which boosts DNA repair in cells.

Can we get on this? The new Super food whose natural detoxifying agents allow us to eat this:

Without feeling too much guilt… We can season up some of these:

And still enjoy the crappies out of life.

Now don’t be fooled, kale chips taste NOTHING like potato chips, yet the crunch and the slightly nutty flavor of a kale chip is highly addicting. You.Will.Not.Resist. I’ve eaten two bunches of kale chips in one sitting. I’ve eaten them while they’re still in the oven. Burned my hand….True life story…

I love this stuff. My kids love this stuff. The more we eat it, the more we love it – It makes the word

Seem a bit less daunting…

Kale… Who knew?

Love,

Me…

: Kale Chips

: Adapted from: Joy The Baker

1. 1 pound bunch of kale (whatever kale you can find
2. Olive oil spray (I used the spray because it coated the kale evenly without over saturating it)
3. Any seasoning you’d like: I used a mixture of adobo, garlic, onion powder and red pepper flakes).

1. Preheat oven to 275 degrees. Thoroughly clean and dry kale leaves. You can remove the fibrous portion of the kale because yes, it does bake a bit tough. I didn’t remove it, because I liked that portion. Place kale leaves on one or two baking sheets. Leaves should be in a single layer for the most part, but if they overlap it’s cool. Light spray both sides with olive oil. Then add the seasoning. Toss with your hands. Add more seasoning if you’d like, but don’t go overboard – You could end up with very salty kale chips.
2. Place pan(s) in the oven and bake for 15 minutes. Remove sheet(s) and toss leaves with tongs or your hands… Whatever… It’s cool… Return to the oven to bake for another 15 minutes. After 30 minutes of baking, turn the oven off and allow the leaves to dry in the oven for another 30 to 40 minutes. Allowing them to crisp with the oven off ensures very crispy kale chips which remain crispy despite storing.
3. Store kale chips in an airtight bag. I’m not sure how long they last, per say because the kale chips only lasted one night in my house. I would say two, three days?
4. If they lose their crispiness, preheat the oven to 275, turn the oven off, lay the chips down on a baking sheet and place in the oven for about 20 minutes to re-crisp. Don’t forget to turn the oven off, or you’ll end up with burnt bitter chips… And that’s totally worse than bitter tears.
5. Enjoy!

Preparation time: 10 minute(s)

Cooking time: 1 hour(s) 30 minute(s)