Homemade Klondike Bars

So… Has it been hot enough out there for you? Did you feel Mother Nature’s dragon breath singeing your leg stubble? You had leg stubble, don’t lie to me. You were totally in a hurry during the heat wave one morning and forgot to shave your legs. Why else were you sporting a maxi dress in that oppressive heat? I’m sure you spent the day regretting your choice of wardrobe, cause it was hell-a hot out there.

So you were hot and you were grumpy – Like a bear that got one of its paws caught in one of those inhuman snappy metal trap things.

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Like that.

Grr…

I feel you…

It happened to me… I can relate.

But wait – I can help! Got just the thing and it started with a jingle…

For three days straight I couldn’t stop singing the Klondike bar jingle. “What would you do-woo-oo…?” Over and over in my head it played; it got so I was annoying people with the question; “What would you do-woo-oo for a…?” I even sang it to people. They kinda run from me now…

Now if something were to attach itself to my brain with such fervor, wouldn’t it be worth exploring a little? I mean, aren’t Klondike bars vanilla ice-cream dipped in chocolate? That melty kind of chocolate you sometimes dream of being dipped into… Whoa, wait -Is that just me? It can’t be…. Who wouldn’t want that?

So I made you Klondike bars…To cool you off…To do a lil’ somethin’ somethin’ nice for you. To give you something to dream about when you dip a hunk of vanilla ice cream into a pool of melted chocolate.

And to stop the song from playing in my head over and over again.

Oh, mama… Look at this..

No need to thank me. In the name of all things holy freezy cold; this just had to happen…

Love,

: Homemade Klondike Bars

Source: Vanilla ice cream recipe adapted from Annie’s Eats. The Klondike bars are an M.O.B. Production following 3 days of the Klondike bar jingle incessantly playing in my head.

For the vanilla ice cream:

Ingredients:

4 cups heavy cream, divided
2 cups whole milk
1 1/3 cups sugar
Generous pinch of salt
2 tablespoons of vanilla bean paste**
2 tsp. vanilla extract
Chocolate shell (recipe follows)

Directions:

Line a 9×13 inch pan with one sheet of parchment paper and set aside.
Combine 2 cups of heavy cream with the sugar and salt in a medium saucepan. Add the vanilla bean paste and heat over medium-high heat, stirring occasionally until the sugar is completely dissolved. Remove the mixture from the heat and stir in the remaining 2 cups of cream, the milk and the vanilla extract. Stir well to combine. Cover and place the mixture in your refrigerator until well chilled; about an hour.
Remove the mixture from the refrigerator and freeze in your ice cream maker according to the manufacturer’s instructions. This will most likely take two batches. When the first batch is ready, immediately pour the ice cream into your prepared pan and smooth evenly with an offset spatula. Cover and place in the freezer while you make the second batch of ice cream. Once the second batch is ready, remove the pan from the freezer and pour over the first batch of ice cream. Smooth and even out with an offset spatula.
Cover tightly with saran wrap and place the pan in the freezer for about 4 hours or overnight to give the ice cream a chance to fully harden. When the ice cream has fully hardened, cut into 2 inch squares using a cutter. If you have a penchant for symmetry, you can cut 2 inch square with a knife. You should have about 15 squares, give or take. Return the cut squares to the freezer for about an hour. In the meantime prepare the chocolate shell.

** You can also use two vanilla beans. Just scrape the seeds from the vanilla beans into the saucepan along with the vanilla bean pods and heat until the sugar is dissolved. I like using vanilla bean paste because a) I’m lazy b) I think vanilla bean paste offers a more concentrated vanilla flavor. That’s just my opinion…

: Chocolate Shell

Source: Adapted from NY Times

Ingredients:

1 cup bittersweet chocolate, chopped
1 cup milk chocolate chopped (You can also go all bittersweet)
1 cup coconut oil

Directions:

Melt the chocolate over low heat in a medium bowl set over a pan of simmering water. Stir in the coconut oil and heat until the oil is completely dissolved into the chocolate, about 1-2 minutes. Bring the liquid to room temperature. The chocolate will not solidify due to the amount of oil mixed in.
In the meantime, line 2 cookie sheets with parchment paper sprayed with a bit of cooking spray and place inside the freezer. We are going to work in two batches to prevent your bars from melting.

Ice-Cream Bar Assembly:

Pour your melted chocolate into a deep medium sized bowl. Remove the cookies sheets from the freezer and divide your cut squares in two and line them on the frozen cookie sheets. Place one cookie sheet in the freezer. We’re rolling with one cookie sheet at a time.
Working quickly, dip an ice cream square into the bowl of melted chocolate using a large fork or spoon. Make sure the square is completely submerged. Lift the dipped square from the melted chocolate and place on the cold cookie sheet. Repeat with the remaining squares. When the squares from the first batch have been dipped, remove the second cookie sheet from the freezer and place the first sheet inside to chill. Repeat the process with the second batch of ice cream squares.
When all the squares (both batches) have been coated with chocolate, place them in the freezer to chill; about 25 minutes.
Remove the coated squares one sheet at a time from the freezer and repeat the dipping process. They must be dipped twice for a nice hard chocolate coating. When all the bars have been dipped twice, return them to the freezer for 20 more minutes. This makes about 15 coated bars.

Then eat one… Cause that’s how nature intended it…