Year of the Gentleman – Spicy Chipotle Lime Mussels

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Chris Rock once said…

“Relationships… Easy to get into, hard to maintain.”


Because at some point you let the Riunite on Ice out of your relationship.

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Don’t let the Riunite on ice out of your relationship.

Treat yo’ lady right.

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Do you know what ladies LOVE?


You don’t have to spend hundreds or thousands of dollars to make your lady feel right.

For serious.

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It’s effort. Its understanding cues. You gentleman fail at that sometimes. Your lady doesn’t have to say “I’m tired” before you offer to wash the dishes. That’s if you offer at all.

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Don’t you think your lady would be much more willing to, oh, I don’t know – bake your favorite batch of cookies if she walks into a clean house?

I think so.

But I digress. We’re talking about the Riunite on Ice deal.

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Don’t wait till her birthday rolls around to do something special. Special should be a monthly situation.

Romance is not tights and a soliloquy, boys. Get your mind off that. She’s not expecting that.

She’s expecting effort.

Bring her flowers a couple times a month. Make her a coco mojito. Give her a back massage if your hands on her feet creep her out.

Homie – If you’re spending your days off watching Maury or playing Sniper Elite, and she walks in from a long day of work, greet her with a glass of wine or some sangria. Don’t just sit there and give her a half wave or a high five. Don’t look up and ask her what’s for dinner.

Effort gentlemen. You need to put in the time.

And cook for your lady.

What, you can’t get down like that in the kitchen?

I got you, boo.

Make your boo some chipotle lime mussels.

What rocks about these spicy mussels is how easy they are to prepare. Really, all you have to do is chop up some aromatics, followed by a little lemon juice and zest. Some dry white wine. Add some tomatoes and chipotle peppers to a pan.  Then the mussels go in. Steam a little bit. You strain the mussels and reduce the broth.

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Then you plate that jammy. Make it pretty. Garnish it. It’s just an extra minute to lay down a garnish.

From start to finish this takes about 25 minutes, if that. Clean the house real quick; get rid of that fishy smell in your crib and off your body. Use that cologne she loves – The one that excretes those pheromones that drive her crazy.

Ask your mama to watch the kids for a few hours. Set up a dinner area – It doesn’t have to be super fancy. Dim the lights. Fire up some candles. Make her a drink.

Have something playing in the background – A song that will get her in the mood and seal the deal on those “special favors”. You know what I’m talkin’ about. You miss those special favors, don’t you? They have been increasingly dwindling, haven’t they?


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That’s because you let the Riunite out of your relationship.

Get that Riunite on Ice situation back on track.

Treat her right.

Play her a little Otis Redding.

Try a little tenderness.

Come back and thank me.



  • 1 tablespoon olive oil
  • 1 vidalia onions finely diced
  • 4 cloves of garlic peeled and sliced thin
  • 2 tablespoons chopped cilantro
  • Zest and juice of 1 lime
  • 2 chipotle in adobo peppers + 1 tablespoon chipotle adobo sauce
  • 1 cup dry white wine
  • 1 small can of diced tomatoes or about 1 cup
  • 1 heaping tablespoon tomato paste
  • 2 pounds of mussels


  • Scrub the mussels, removing the beards and discarding any mussels which won’t close. Lightly pat them dry.
  • Heat a large heavy-bottomed pot over medium/high heat. Add the olive oil and heat until shimmering, but not smoking.  Add the vidalia onions and cook, stirring often until translucent, about 5 minutes. Add the garlic and cook until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Add the cilantro, lime zest, lime juice, chipotle peppers with adobo sauce, white wine, diced tomatoes and tomato paste. Bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to low and add the mussels. Make sure the mussels do not crowd the pan. Cover the pan with a heavy lid and allow mussels to steam for about 6 minutes until the mussel shells open. Discard any mussels that haven’t opened.
  • Strain the mussels from the liquid and set aside while you reduce the broth.
  • Increase the heat to medium high and bring the broth to a boil. Reduce the broth for about 2 minutes. Turn off heat.
  • Divide the majority of the broth between 2 serving bowls; add the mussels to the broth. Spoon some broth over top of the mussels and garnish with lime slices and cilantro leaves.
  • Serve with crusty bread.

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